


I Loved You

by plastic--hearts (paperxvalentines)



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Closeted Character, Love Triangles, M/M, Songfic, Unrequited Love, no socky tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 15:10:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15910779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperxvalentines/pseuds/plastic--hearts
Summary: He couldn’t help but wonder what they looked like to onlookers. Did they simply look like best friends, enjoying ice-cream on a hot day? Minhyuk wondered whether this was what it would be like to go on a date with Sanha.





	I Loved You

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this about a year ago on tumblr, but I'm only getting around to posting it here since it's the first year anniversary of [I Loved You by Day6](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwLMA5XYnKI), which it's based on! 
> 
> I added some stuff to the original, but if you've read this already, it's basically the same. my original author's note to this included the fact that they're all in the same grade bc I was lazy, so I guess keep that in mind?? enjoy!!

“I still can’t believe Jiyu and Bin broke up,” Sanha whispered, turning to face Minhyuk. “To be honest, I didn’t think they were a good match.”

“Of course,” Minhyuk muttered, too busy with writing down the problem their teacher had just left on the board to give his friend a proper answer.

“She’s just too sweet for him.”

Minhyuk had to make a conscious effort not to roll his eyes. Sanha had been pining over Jiyu since their first year of high school. Now, they were in their final year, and Minhyuk couldn’t believe it was still going _this_ strong. “Okay.”

“I’m surprised, you know. She’s so close with Myungjun, I expected something to happen there.”

Minhyuk shrugged, not answering this time. He didn’t know what else he could say to his blond friend. The more he answered, the more Sanha would talk.

Don’t get him wrong: he would much rather listen to Sanha speak than their teacher. He could listen to Sanha speak for ages. However, Jiyu wasn’t exactly his favourite conversation topic. She was nice, sure, and pretty, but every time her name fell from Sanha’s lips, Minhyuk felt his chest tighten. He said her name with such fondness, a fondness that Minhyuk wanted to feel.

And so, he didn’t say a word, choosing to focus on the class instead.

 

 

The next day went similarly. Sanha and Minhyuk were sitting with their friends in the classroom, waiting for their teacher to arrive. Out of the corner of his eye, however, Minhyuk noticed Sanha’s gaze trailed on him. He turned his head to look at his friend, but Sanha’s attention wasn’t actually on Minhyuk. Rather, it was on something to Minhyuk’s left, and when he turned to look, he wished he hadn’t. Jiyu was sitting at the table beside theirs, laughing softly as Myungjun made a funny face. Along with Jinwoo, another one of their classmates, the three of them were rarely ever seen apart, which Minhyuk found somewhat sweet. Not that he’d ever admit it.

Minhyuk sighed softly, directing his attention back to the conversation. If he had had the energy, maybe he would’ve said something to Sanha for being so obvious. Right then, though, he just wanted class to start.

“Minhyuk,” Sanha whispered, 20 minutes into the class. “Do you want to hang out today? Go get ice-cream?”

Minhyuk chuckled softly. “Since when do you ask so early? Of course.”

Sanha grinned, braces glinting, and Minhyuk let his own lips turn up into a smile.

“You’re paying?” Minhyuk asked Sanha as they exited their school building at the end of the day.

Sanha, of course, just made a cute face, knowing fully well that Minhyuk would crack.

“Okay, fine,” Minhyuk sighed. “Let’s go.” He truly was a sucker.

Sanha skipped alongside Minhyuk as they made their way to the ice-cream parlor, and Minhyuk’s soft smile never left his face. Sanha had a way of making him smile with everything he did, and yet he was blissfully unaware. Blissfully unaware of the way he made Minhyuk feel as light as a feather, and Minhyuk intended to keep it that way.

When they got there, Sanha immediately got two scoops of strawberry ice-cream, smiling widely when the old lady behind the counter handed the cone to him.

“No sprinkles?” Minhyuk asked, eyeing the pink scoops. “That’s unlike you.”

“I didn’t want to charge you extra.”

Minhyuk smiled at the sentiment, shaking his head. “Go ahead, get your sprinkles.”

Sanha grinned, eyes alight with both disbelief and excitement, and turned back to the counter. Minhyuk watched as he eagerly pointed to the rainbow sprinkles. He would basically be broke after this purchase, but to see Sanha smile like that was worth all the money in the world.

And when Sanha asked why Minhyuk only got one scoop of chocolate ice-cream in a cup, he just shrugged and said he didn’t want anything else.

They sat at a table by the front window, Sanha immediately attacking his cone. Minhyuk laughed at his friend’s eagerness and pulled out his phone, snapping a couple pictures of the sight.

“Minhyuk!” Sanha whined, but couldn’t help his laughter. “Stop!”

“Nope.” Minhyuk smiled before leaning across the table and licking Sanha’s ice-cream.

“Hey!” The blond protested and moved his cone out of reach.

“I paid for it!” Minhyuk laughed, wiping a trace of pink ice-cream off his nose.

Sanha huffed, cheeks puffing out like a child’s, causing him to laugh again.

He couldn’t help but wonder what they looked like to onlookers. Did they simply look like best friends, enjoying ice-cream on a hot day? Minhyuk wondered whether this was what it would be like to go on a date with Sanha. After they’d finish, Minhyuk would hold his hand and take him to see the ducks in the park just a block over. They would sit by the pond and skip stones, and maybe Minhyuk would be brave enough to kiss his cheek at the end of the day.

But of course, that was just a daydream. Sanha in front of him wasn’t his date; they were simply the best of friends, nothing less but also nothing more. And when they walked to the duck pond, they didn’t hold hands, nor did Minhyuk try to kiss him.

He did, however, let Sanha make him happy, even if he had to keep it a secret. He would rather take the secret to his grave than lose his best friend.

 

\--

When Minhyuk saw the keychain, he knew he needed it.

It didn’t matter that it was in the middle of a grocery store. The keychain was cute and he would be damned if he didn’t get it for Sanha. He took it off the hook gently and placed it in the shopping cart, ignoring his mum’s questioning gaze.

“That doesn’t look like something you’d like.”

“It’s for Sanha,” Minhyuk offered, busying himself with looking at the different types of tea.

Minhyuk’s mum opened her mouth to say something but seemed to decide against it. Minhyuk was thankful for that. He had managed to keep his feelings under wraps for this long and had no intention of letting his facade slip. Of course, it helped if he wasn’t asked about it.

 

When he got home and had finished putting away the groceries, he texted Sanha.

 **minhyuk [5:13pm]  
** **park in 10?**

 **sanha [5:13pm]  
** **sure :-)**

Every weekend they would go to the park, even if just for a little while. It started when they first met, back in middle school, and carried on as more of a tradition than a fun outing. Some days they’d go on the swings, some days they’d hang by the pull-up bars, Sanha complaining that he was too tall for them.

Pocketing the keychain, he stepped out of his house and began walking down the familiar path, smiling occasionally to passerby. Once he got to the park, he made a beeline for the pull-up bars and, within seconds, was hanging upside down from the highest one. He always waited for Sanha like this, since it always roused a smile from the blond boy.

He pulled the keychain out of his pocket to contemplate it. It was a little patchwork creature, maybe a bunny of sorts, with yellow buttons for eyes. On the cheeks were sewn little red hearts, which was what initially made Minhyuk think of Sanha.

He looked up from the little bunny to see Sanha approaching and closed his hand around the small gift to hide it.

“Minhyuk,” Sanha greeted as he walked up to his friend, an amused smile on his face. “I’m always worried that you’re going to fall.”

“Ah, don’t worry your cute self over me,” Minhyuk teased. He pushed himself up, and after some maneuvering, jumped down in front of Sanha. He slipped the keychain back into his pocket, deciding he’d give it to Sanha at the perfect moment.

“You know what I heard?” Sanha said as they started walking. Minhyuk shook his head. “You know that guy Dongmin?”

Minhyuk then nodded, kicking a stray rock on the pathway. “Yeah, with all the girls chasing after him all the time.”

“Yeah. He and Bin are now friends.”

“What?” Minhyuk raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t he, like, super studious, as opposed to Bin?”

“Yup.” Sanha nodded. “Bin apparently got into a fight over him.”

“I doubt that’s true.”

“Myungjun told me!”

“Since when do you and Myungjun talk?”

“I was texting him last night,” Sanha explained, cheeks reddening. _Oh no_. “He told me.”

“What else did he tell you?” Minhyuk mumbled, eyes on the ground. His fingers curled around the keychain in his pocket.

“We, uh, talked about Jiyu,” Sanha explained, rubbing the back of his neck. “He gave me some tips.”

“Tips?” Minhyuk repeated, eyes widening. “Are you actually going to do something?”

“I’m thinking of confessing.”

Minhyuk stopped dead in his tracks, wide eyes on Sanha. The blond kept walking for a few steps before noticing his friend’s absence and turning around. “What?”

“You didn’t tell me.”

“About?”

“Confessing.”

“I- I’m telling you now.” Sanha took a few steps closer to Minhyuk. “You’re never interested when I talk about her.”

“This isn’t about her,” Minhyuk stated. “This is about you.”

“I just- I thought he would know better how to-”

Minhyuk scoffed, running a hand through his hair. His chest was tight and heart was heavy as he spoke, interrupting Sanha. “So what? You’re- We’re supposedly best friends. You really told him before me?”

“You would’ve discouraged me.”

Minhyuk’s breath hitched. “What?” That was the last thing he wanted to hear from his best friend.

“You heard me.” Sanha frowned.

“That’s not true and you know it.” His surprise was beginning to turn into anger. “When have I ever discouraged you from doing something you wanted to?”

When Sanha didn’t reply, Minhyuk shook his head. “I’ve always supported you, no matter how stupid or ridiculous your ideas were. Remember your first guitar, Sanha?”

“Me wanting to confess to her isn’t stupid or ridiculous.”

“Oh my god,” Minhyuk sighed, exasperated already. “I didn’t mean it that way, you know that!”

Sanha huffed, looking away from Minhyuk into the distance. “You never _really_ liked her. I would’ve known.”

“She’s nice, Sanha,” Minhyuk hissed through gritted teeth. “She’s nice and she’s pretty and- and she’s probably smart. That really doesn’t change the fact that you went to Kim Myungjun, out of all people, before me.”

“He can definitely help me more than you can!”

“So what? Have you been friends with _him_ for 6 years? You don’t even talk to him in school!” Minhyuk argued. He didn’t know why he was getting so worked up over such an insignificant thing. He knew, he knew that he was being ridiculous, but he couldn’t stop himself. “You didn’t think it would be important for me to know this?!”

“It doesn’t matter, Minhyuk!” Sanha almost yelled. “It doesn’t matter who I tell or when I tell them! I told you now, didn’t I? What’s 24 hours, in the grand scheme of things?”

Minhyuk shook his head, taking a couple steps back. “I’m going home,” he stated before turning on his heels and walking away without even sparing a glance behind him. His fingers were still curled tightly around the keychain when he got home.

 

 

He didn’t speak to Sanha for two days after that. He still sat next to him in class like he did every day, but he ignored his presence. He knew it was petty, but Sanha was doing the same thing, and he wasn’t going to be the first person to crack. It was all Sanha’s fault, anyways - why couldn’t he have just told him?

Sitting on the bus alone were the hardest parts of those two days. The lack of Sanha meant that he was alone with his music - and his thoughts. Obviously, the one thing his brain chose to zero in on was Sanha’s potential confession. He didn’t know when - or even if - it was happening, and as much as he didn’t _want_ to know, he had to. He wanted to be there for Sanha, even if it meant willingly shattering his heart in the process. Picking between having a broken heart or a Sanha-sized hole in his life was easy - it wasn’t like he ever put his own wellbeing before Sanha, anyway.

Why couldn’t he just move on, when he so clearly knew Sanha wasn’t interested? Why did these feelings have to blossom deep within his rib cage, and instead of wilting away, why did they choose to grow and grow until it felt like they were engulfing his lungs and suffocating him? Minhyuk almost felt like hating Sanha would be easier than loving him, but he would never want that. However, he did wish that he could understand, or better yet, control his feelings. He could always control the way he dealt with them, sure, but that was exhausting. He would rather not have them altogether.

He was certain that the feelings would fade eventually, but if there was a way to speed up the process, Minhyuk would try anything.

 

 

On the third day, when Sanha plopped down into the chair beside him, Minhyuk was ready to ignore him again. However, Sanha seemed to have other plans. Without warning, he wrapped his arms around his friend, pulling him as close as the chairs allowed him to.

Minhyuk was surprised, but didn’t pull away from the touch. Instead, he freed an arm from beside him and wrapped it around Sanha’s shoulders, reciprocating the hug. He smiled softly as he rested his cheek on top of Sanha’s head, eyes fluttering shut as he enjoyed the affection. In that moment, nothing else mattered: not their fight, not Jiyu, not anyone in the world. Just Sanha.

He knew the bliss was only temporary.

What he didn’t know at the moment was just _how_ temporary it would be.

 

 

On the bus home that evening, Sanha was chattering excitedly about the new song that a group he likes had just released, but Minhyuk couldn’t pay attention. His gaze was trailed on the girl that had just stepped onto the bus and taken the seat a couple rows in front of them; rather, his eyes were trailed on Jiyu. Sanha had yet to notice her, and Minhyuk intended to keep it that way.

He waited for Sanha to stop talking before nudging him with his shoulder. “I have something for you.”

Sanha watched curiously as he reached into his bag, searching a bit before pulling out the keychain. “I saw this and thought it was cute,” Minhyuk explained, giving it to Sanha who took it carefully out of his friend’s hand. “It reminded me of you.”

Sanha then grinned, tearing his gaze away from the little bunny to meet Minhyuk’s unsure gaze. “It’s so cute, thank you!” With that, he threw his arms around Minhyuk and squeezed him tightly.

Minhyuk laughed when they pulled away. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I love it.” Sanha nodded, picking up his own bag from the floor of the bus and placing it on his lap. Struggling for a moment, he managed to get the keychain on the zip. “Look! Now I’ll be reminded of you wherever I go.”

“You never go anywhere other than school with that,” Minhyuk pointed out. “I’m there in school anyways.”

“Oof, fine, I won’t say nice things then.” Sanha pouted comically, crossing his arms and turning to face forward.

Minhyuk was going to keep teasing him when he noticed Sanha’s expression rapidly change. Before he could even process it, Sanha’s hand was wrapped around his upper arm, shaking him slightly. “That’s Jiyu!” Sanha whispered.

“Mhm. Have you talked to her?”

“No.” Sanha’s wide eyes then turned to Minhyuk. “Should I do it now?”

Concealing his feelings, Minhyuk shrugged. “Why not?” he answered, the words barely slipping out of his mouth.

Just then, though, the bus began slowing down, and Jiyu stood up and swung her bag over her shoulder. Once the bus halted, she stepped off.

The next moment was a blur for Minhyuk. One second, Sanha was sitting beside him, grasping his arm, and the next he was up on his feet, nearly tearing behind Jiyu with a shouted, “I’ll text you!”

Minhyuk watched with wide eyes as his best friend ran behind the black haired girl, and let his gaze stay on them even after the bus had begun driving away.

And then it hit him. His best friend had left him with nothing more than an _“I’ll text you!”_ in order to chase after a girl. His best friend, the one person whose love he wanted all to himself, was off sharing that love with someone Minhyuk could never be.

As he lowered his eyes, he noticed something white lying on the floor of the bus, close to the door.

He never would’ve thought that the sight of a mere keychain could hurt him so badly.

**Author's Note:**

> rip I'm sorry
> 
> as always, find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/plastic__hearts) and [tumblr](http://plastic--hearts.tumblr.com/), and I was reminded that I have a cc so I guess I'll link [that](https://curiouscat.me/plastic--hearts) too??


End file.
